English Without Tears: Mind Your P's and Q's is a practical textbook that delves into the nitty gritty of the English language spoken in this contemporaneous global village. Jettisoned by its biological mother, the English Language has been adopted, appropriated, nurtured and made to bear the hallmarks of global Englishes. It is still the English language in full communion with its ancestral roots, but it is English that been panel beaten almost out of shape and endowed with the speech mannerisms, elocutionary patterns and phonetic peculiarities of the non-native. The goal of this book has been to shed ample light on some grammatical and lexical incongruities that often disfigure the speech of Anglophones whose mother tongue is not English. We are hopeful that this work would meet the dire needs of students and instructors of the English language all over the world. The substance in this book is easily digestible; our lexical choices are devoid of convolution and our illustrations are down-to-earth. Ultimately, this book is our unapologetic contribution to the ongoing global Englishes revolution.